Stumbling Toward What is

A cousin recently asked why, if relatively few people read what I write here, I spend the time to compose my thoughts. That's a good question, one about which I have thought some since my cousin and I spoke. Frankly, if "blogs" didn't exist, I wouldn't bother to keep a diary, even though I did as a teenager thirty years ago. I also continue to believe that technologies such as "blogs" provide convenience, but we as people have turned them into indispensable idols that give "centering" shape to our existence. In other words, I doubt "blogs" and cell phones and satellite television and those combination computer, email, address and phone book things that my friend Jaymeson showed me do more good than harm. We as people have, I think, thought very little about the price we are paying--and it's increasing by the megabyte--to have these myriad of conveniences, toys and highly advanced playthings.
I suppose that's one reason I write. By using these forms of technology, I can raise questions about them, if only for my own final satisfaction. I am always reminded of Spencer Tracy's major speech during Inherit the Wind about how much we are willing to relinquish to gain what we say we want. All one has to do is update his references and the point becomes immediately relevant. Asking those questions, of course, is not what most people want to do. We all seek security, absolutes and certitude in a world that by its nature offers none. Faith in something beyond ourselves provides access to what most traditions call--in one way or another--the Absolute, but we only experience that in ambiguous, clouded and fleeting ways. Our experience, most traditions say, does not mean we have, as it were, the Keys to the Sanctum Sanctorum. So no matter the issue, be it technology, faith or literary criticism, I feel led to ask questions, read provocatively and admit my lack of final understanding. In writing, reading, thinking and grasping toward being fully human, every once in a while, I'll stumble toward that which I seek.